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My First Million
MFM Mini - The Way To Be Confident
MFM Mini - The Way To Be Confident

MFM Mini - The Way To Be Confident

My First MillionGo to Podcast Page

Shaan Puri, Sam Parr
·
6 Clips
·
Jun 13, 2021
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Episode Summary
Episode Transcript
0:01
I want to talk about confidence growing up, I was never
0:05
super confident. I was in a group and my group of friends,
0:10
let's say there were six of us. You had a,
0:12
you know, the kid who always got into trouble right? He was always, you know, use those
0:18
on an adventure
0:20
and then you the class clown, everybody loved that person, because they were making everybody laugh. You had the person who was, you know, ambitious and was they always got good grades and they were, they were
0:30
Always sort of top of the class and doing good in sports, that sort of thing. And and then you had me. I was the friend who was like, just I was just there to support all them. I was, I was just laughing. I was like a laugh track of a show. I wasn't even the character.
0:44
And I was like, I wasn't very
0:46
confident didn't talk very much and it all changed for me. When 10th grade, you know, 10th I was living in Houston, Texas, and in 10th Grade my
0:55
family. My
0:56
dad got a job in China as all of a sudden.
1:00
Moving to Beijing and so pack up your bags. You're moving from Texas to China and on the plane ride there. I remember my sister was talking to me and she goes, you know how I feel about your new school or you
1:11
excited nervous, whatever. I was like, I don't know, it's
1:14
kind of the same. Same thing probably. Just another school say it won't be too different and she goes,
1:20
well, it can be. I don't know what you mean.
1:23
And she what she was trying to say was not the difference between China and Texas, but the difference between me and China and Me In
1:29
And she
1:30
goes, you know, none of these kids know you. So you have a kind of a fresh start,
1:35
that's pretty cool. Like, you can pretty much be whoever you want to be. You can be, however, you want to be. And I was like, what do you mean? She goes. Well, think about in Houston, like the kids in your school, who are cool, right, I had this friend, Kane. I mean, even his name was cool. My friend came hold a field, he was one of the cool kids, everybody loved him, and he was always having a good time.
1:56
And I, you know, I used to see
1:57
these other kids, remember this kid Casey, and
2:00
They were always having a good time, and one of the reasons why I was never very confident. They were confident themselves. And so, they were relaxed, they don't run over was worried about what other people were thinking of them. And I thought, man, that'd be great. If I could be like that. I didn't know how. I didn't know how to be confident, and over time, I have
2:18
learned the secret to confidence. I used to
2:21
think. Okay, here's here's what I originally
2:23
thought. I used to think
2:25
confidence was, you know, either something you just have, or you don't, you're born with it.
2:29
It. Okay,
2:31
that was wrong when I moved to
2:33
China. And when I landed, you know, after that flight, I ended up walking into school on the first day of school. And I carried myself like Cain, like carried myself. Like Casey, I carried myself, like
2:44
they used to do and I didn't know how to be
2:47
confident. I didn't really understand that sort of faked it till you make it, but
2:50
what I figured out was that confidence is not something you do directly.
2:58
Right? So confidence is not just puffing up your chest
3:04
because that's bravado right? That's that's false confidence, it's easily deflated by by reality
3:10
a confident.
3:11
Person is not just like a Fearless person.
3:13
A confident person is confident as a byproduct of being adventurous. Let me tell you what I mean.
3:21
Over time, I figured out that
3:23
all I needed to do was focus on being adventurous. Putting
3:26
myself in new unfamiliar
3:28
situations and going for it. You know, if there was a, if we were at a lake and there was a rope swing, and I didn't know how to do the rope swing. I didn't know if I would land right
3:38
then, I must do it,
3:40
right? I got a lean into that Adventure. If there was a group of girls at a bar, I wanted to go talk
3:44
to but I didn't know what to say.
3:47
I must go talk to them right at must lean into the adventure and what I realized, you know, one
3:52
Adventure after another, you sort of realized. Well if I keep putting myself in these
3:56
positions
3:58
and then I come out the other side
3:59
and, you know, sometimes it works, sometimes it's good. And sometimes you belly flop doesn't work so well,
4:04
but either way, you end up, all
4:05
right?
4:06
Then fear goes away, anxiety goes away
4:09
confidence sets in that regardless of the situation.
4:14
I'll be all right. I will good things can happen. I
4:18
have evidence that good things happen from being adventurous and therefore
4:22
confidence.
4:23
So when I did my first business, we wanted to start a sushi restaurant. We had this idea to create the Chipotle of sushi. Now, the problem was I had eaten sushi for the first time like two weeks before that. That's why I had the idea. I was like, oh my God Sue. She's amazing. I haven't had this in my whole life. I was scared of it. Why doesn't somebody make a kind of more accessible version of this so that was the idea.
4:44
And where most people would not have the
4:46
confidence to go do it
4:47
because they have no experience.
4:51
I leaned in the adventure.
4:52
So we're watching TV watching the Food Network, the Throwdown with Bobby Flay
4:58
and we see this.
5:00
It's a sushi throw down. So we skip class and we're watching this. This Throwdown. We see this awesome charismatic chef from La. Do the sushi. Throw down against Bobby Flay. He seems great. He knows
5:10
his stuff. We
5:12
say we got to get in touch with that
5:13
guy. How do we how do we make that happen?
5:16
Well, my friend, Googled him. And we saw his restaurant in
5:19
La and my friend goes, my friend, Trevor
5:22
goes, let's call him.
5:24
Again, normally,
5:27
a lot of people would shy away from that, right? That's an unknown situation. What's going to happen, if I call him. But what do I say? Will it work? Well and not work. Lean into the adventure. All right, so I
5:37
pick up the phone and I called ring ring, somebody picks up.
5:42
I'm so used to getting the run around with things that I just assumed. I was going to get the runaround. Again, I
5:47
go I need to talk to Phillip. Ye how do I make that happen?
5:52
Voice. On the line goes, it's Philip talk to me.
5:56
Now I didn't have much planned what to say after that. So so I you know, sort of
6:00
stumbled and fumbled, but I was like, oh Philip, you know, my name is Sean and I
6:05
decide Iya for a sushi restaurant. I think it could be really great, and I just saw you on TV and I think that you're the perfect person to work with and he's like, well, who are you your kid? Like, no, not interested, but we kept pursuing. We were very persistent and eventually, eventually he did come on board and became kind of like a total, like a life meant
6:26
Cars. But that part of the story is not important. Really? It's
6:29
just picking up the phone and calling that was important. Another situation. I remember early on, in my career we were in a program called Kairos. It was like a entrepreneurial Society, like a know, basically, they named the top hundred most Innovative College startups,
6:47
and
6:48
which is, you know, like Forbes 30, under 30, it kind of means nothing. It was just people picking friends. In fact, I think our school had no nominees and so we just by default by being the only people
6:56
People to apply. We won. So we get flown to New York, you go to the stock exchange and you get to present. We got on CNN, it was amazing. During that process, we heard that there were they were has a trip, you could win if you were in the, if you're in that group, there's a trip, you could win like 20 or 30, people are going to win this to China. All-expense-paid trip to China
7:17
and
7:19
a courtesy of Ali. Baba, I didn't know what Alibaba wasn't the
7:22
time and
7:24
we had missed the deadline to apply. So we
7:26
And we were not going to win and I was sort of
7:28
over. Well, I saw somebody carrying the sign for the contest
7:34
and getting into the elevator and go into the third floor. So I said I said okay you know hey you know, taxi follow that car basically, right? So let's follow her. So we go into the elevator. I go to the third floor, try to find this
7:45
one and find her and I go up to her and I say hey I
7:50
know what, I know I
7:51
missed the deadline to apply but
7:55
And I just made this up. I go, I had a dream last
7:57
night that I met a
7:58
woman who ran the trip and, and I got tickets to the trip. I don't know how it happened, but I just in my dream. It happened. And then I saw you. And you had the sign. Tell me that's not a sign and she laughs. She's like, that's a sign. Yes, sure she goes. You know, the registration is closed. I said, I know registration is
8:16
closed, but,
8:17
you know, I would love to go. I think, you know, I think I would make the trip fun for. Are you going, if you, if you're going and I'm going, the trips can be
8:24
Fun. Can you do it? You, you have
8:27
the power to make that happen, don't you? And yes, she did. She made it happen. We won an all-expense-paid trip to China.
8:34
Went to
8:35
Alibaba headquarters, learned what the heck. Ali Baba was, I was just trying to get a free trip. I thought that would be a fun adventure that ended up being extremely lucrative later because I learned about e-commerce through Alibaba and now have a e-commerce brand because of that, I also bought Ali Ali, Baba Stock and that did extremely
8:54
Well, I only had a tiny amount of money, but it did Super well. So anyways, you can't predict what's going to be
9:00
the result, but the lesson I want to share is
9:06
Confidence to
9:08
cold call, somebody confidence to go up to a woman and say, Hey, you know, I had a dream that I
9:13
won. Make it happen for me, it's not confidence, it's leaning into an adventure over over and over
9:22
again and the more adventurous you become the more bulletproof, you realize you
9:26
are and that the byproduct of that is confidence.
9:32
Try it out today if you see an opportunity to be adventurous lean in where you would, otherwise just stay on the sidelines. Try it one time. Tell me
9:42
what happens. Tweet it at me and trust me this works. If you want to if you ever want to be more confident, this is the way to do it. Don't don't don't focus on confidence focused on
9:51
adventure. All right, see ya.
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